What not to ask an IAF wife
A little note... this is not my original. But an adaptation of something an American Military wife wrote. I just fine tuned it and added some of my own experiences :)
1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
This one comes in at number one on the "duh" list for every Armed Forces Wife (AFW). Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers in the backs of our minds -- but thanks, brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.
This one comes in at number one on the "duh" list for every Armed Forces Wife (AFW). Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers in the backs of our minds -- but thanks, brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.
2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."
This is intended to be a compliment, but it's just a little annoying. Here's why: It's not like all of us AFWs have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cellphones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable; we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So, we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.
This is intended to be a compliment, but it's just a little annoying. Here's why: It's not like all of us AFWs have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cellphones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable; we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So, we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.
3. "At least he's not in the border."
This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Air Force. What do they think happens every time they go flying? A Joy ride? People get into emergencies and wives are as tensed!
This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Air Force. What do they think happens every time they go flying? A Joy ride? People get into emergencies and wives are as tensed!
4. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"
Short answer: try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a AFW out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of Vodka always helps keep me busy.
Short answer: try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a AFW out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of Vodka always helps keep me busy.
5. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"
This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are seeing action or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them can’t imagine doing anything else because they actually love what they.
This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are seeing action or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them can’t imagine doing anything else because they actually love what they.
6. "My husband had to go for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."
This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three-week trip toMumbai/London/Tokyo/etc. with a AF Dett. Aside from the obvious absence, at no point your husband was flying his own aircraft wearing a g-suit at 40 deg Celsius, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a Armed Forces exerciseto a business trip is like comparing a Auto Rickshaw with a Honda City.
This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three-week trip toMumbai/London/Tokyo/etc. with a AF Dett. Aside from the obvious absence, at no point your husband was flying his own aircraft wearing a g-suit at 40 deg Celsius, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a Armed Forces exerciseto a business trip is like comparing a Auto Rickshaw with a Honda City.
7. "Wow, you must miss him."
This one also gets another big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not, and they're now divorced.
This one also gets another big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not, and they're now divorced.
8. "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there."
Yes, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid, ignorant comments like that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything -- he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.
Yes, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid, ignorant comments like that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything -- he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.
9. "Don't you miss sex? I couldn't do it!"
Hmmm. Seriously ... AFW learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn't withstand weeks of sex deprivation.
Hmmm. Seriously ... AFW learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn't withstand weeks of sex deprivation.
Last but not least ...
10. "Oh, that's horrible ... I'm so sorry!"
He's doing his job and he's tough. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable lives to realize that our men are deployed at the border so you stay safe
He's doing his job and he's tough. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable lives to realize that our men are deployed at the border so you stay safe
If you want to say anything... then just say "Thank you." After all we are single parenting not by choice... and Sexually deprived... for your Freedom :)
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